Wilted Salad

Sort of comes from a few thoughts about conversion that I had a while ago. But I started writing and suddenly the salad came in. = = lol~ (even if I try planning my stuff, it doesn't work - something else results!)

I did some Sunday School work for the first time ever this last Sunday, and it went really well. Things like that - opportunities for ministry opening, and everything going well even though I'm not really suited for the job (I am not good with handling children - playing with them is okay, but as soon as someone fights or cries or wets himself I'm totally lost) - things like that I see as signs of God's grace in my life. But then I sometimes feel so difficult, with doubts, praying too little, taking over too much junk from liberal theology, overactive imagination, etc.

So anyway I noticed that difference, between my "being a problem" and God showing me grace. I thought of what I've learnt about some people's beliefs about the importance of a conversion experience, e.g. Francke [link] or Wesley [link] - there are times where I really wished I'd be able to know a particular moment at which I was "saved". I don't even remember my baptism! Anyway then I realised maybe conversion is much simpler; maybe it's just being still and trusting God and accepting the grace He's already giving, rather than running around and being frustrated about my limits and how unsuited I am. God doesn't really care how unsuited we are - if He did, it wouldn't be grace.

It's like when Jesus called His disciples: it's not so much knowing, as just accepting God's call, God's grace. Or with the 10 Lepers: Jesus healed them all! One went back and accepted that grace. God's grace is universal but then conversion is when we accept that God has shown us grace and that God has shown us grace.

*Long theological rambling over*
(I love theology, don't you? hahaha)